My father was the youngest boy from a family of ten, husband and best friend to Susie Ontiveros, father to eight kids Enrique or Ricky, Monique, Regina Rose (passed away as an infant), Divina, Ricardo, Roberto, Ruben, and myself, Bianca. Grandfather to seven, Ricky Jr, Mariah, Jocelyn, Ray, Isaac, Anthony, and Amiyah. He was also the brother, uncle, friend, and confidant to all of you here.

It’s more than just an honor to be speaking on behalf of his life, because to me he was the most amazing man I’ve ever known. And as much as my heart aches, it also rejoices to celebrate his life with you all, and because after today you will know him a little better.

I’ve had a long time to prepare for this but it didn’t make it any easier. What it did give me was a lot of time to think.  I was able to reflect on the many conversations and memories I had with my father. The many lessons he taught me and my siblings, which he was unable to receive in his own upbringing. So, what I am not going to do is try to give you a sugar coated version of who he was. My father was the realest man probably any of us have known. He didn’t hide his flaws or successes. He was quiet, but you knew what he meant by just a look.

So the simplest way I can tell you who my father was and is, and always will be is this: He was the greatest reflection of the character of God that he could be through incredibly unfortunate circumstances.

Throughout his life he hit the lowest of lows. He hurt his family, his children, his wife, even his friends, but once he realized he needed to get straightened out, he dedicated the rest of his life to being better. He improved his relationship with his mother, his siblings, his children, and I saw firsthand how he adored his Susie Q. The true reason for this shift in his life was God. Knowing my dad, the thing he’d want to be remembered for, more than his ability to make people laugh, or his smooth dance moves, or amazing voice, was his love for God. My dad gave the most radical explanation of a relationship with God that I’d ever heard.  No church, pastor, book, could ever explain God the way he did to me.

The message was never “he died for your sins so believe in Him”, or “follow Him because you’re scared of going to hell”. The version of God my dad gave to me was love, Agape love, an unconditional, all encompassing, I accept ALL of you, it doesn’t make sense, nothing matters LOVE. My dad at various points in his life was, a cook, a singer, a dancer, homeless, a deck hand in the Navy, a traveler, a father, a fighter, an insurance salesman, a husband, a lover, other shady characters, the cable guy, the list goes on, but through it all…he realized who he truly was, and that was someone deeply and passionately loved by God.

That is what he taught me. I remember not being able to sleep one night and he came in to pray with me, I was five or six, and he prayed that God would not just forgive me of my sins toward others, but he said it so clearly: forgive us for our thoughts, our words, and our actions. He knew that God could know you so well that he would know even the thoughts you have, and still love you. This is the place my dad lived out of. He was a sinner saved by grace and he wanted everyone he met to know that.

He wanted to show that no matter what low you experienced; there was always a hand waiting to pull you up, and if you couldn’t see that hand, he would step in and be that hand for you. The most important thing to him was that you could live your life in true relationship with God. Not one burdened with rituals or rules. And the most amazing thing about this was often times, he didn’t even have to mention God, he let his actions do all the talking. He rarely went to church, but always said “where there are two or three gathered together in His name, He is in the midst.  He didn’t like confessions because he didn’t need another human to mediate his relationship with his father. He didn’t speak in tongues, or participate in many other religious practices, but he never failed to give a testimony about how amazing God was to him and his family.

He swore, he loved rum and cokes, his favorite movies were Sci-Fi, Horror, and Martial Arts… but as long as they were bootleg.  Salsa Jams and The Temptations made him come alive. He would slaughter you in dominos, pool, and poker.  He got angry, he cracked jokes, and made mistakes. He played the same beat on his congas, all the time. He would sing this little light of mine in the shower. He hated politics, but he loved talking about true justice. He was always ready to defend the underdog. He never fronted, he lived the way he wanted to live…but most importantly he never lost connection with the one who loved him the most, God. He accepted that, he was who he was, he came from where he came from, his struggles were his struggles, and his joys were his joys. But knowing his heart was pure and that he was loved by the King of kings, made him grateful every day. He was thankful constantly for his wife, his kids, his grandkids, and his Fatboy. Because he knew himself so well, no matter how beneath him someone was or how lofty they were he was willing to talk to them as if they were his best friend. He called people “beloved”.  He wanted you to know you were loved.

He taught me and the rest of his kids some of the greatest lessons, including:

“Closed mouth don’t get fed,” if you don’t speak up for what you want or what you believe in this life, you’ll never get to where you want to be.

“Even your family can be bad for you.” The ones you love and keep close to you can hurt you, and when they do, you have to do what is best for you and your future.

He always spoke at funerals, no matter how well or little he knew the person, he always had something nice to say and included, “Tomorrow is not promised to anyone. We’ve all fallen short of the glory of God and no one is righteous, no not one.” This was not his way of trying to force you to believe in God, but his invitation to show you that you can have a relationship with God and experience the greatest form of love, no matter where you’re at in life.

I can guarantee that every person in this room has asked my dad at some point in time… “how are you?” and heard the response, “Another day closer to Paradise.”

Majority of these life lessons came during car rides with his oldies on full blast. He picked a lyric and said now what do you think that means. Some of the greatest ones were of course from The Temptations…

“Well, the only person talking about love thy brother is the preacher. And it seems nobody’s interested in learning but the teacher. Oh yeah, that’s what the world is today.”

His favorite song, that’s what he told me anyway, was “Old Man River” by The Temptations…

“Let me go ‘way from the Mississippi. Let me go ‘way from the rich man boss. Show me that stream called the River Jordan. That’s the old stream that I long to cross.”

He never went wrong with Earth Wind and Fire, especially ‘Fantasy’…

“All your dreams will come true, miles away. Our voices will ring together until the twelfth of never, We all, will live forever, as on Come see victory, in the land called Fantasy. Loving life, a new decree, Bring your mind to everlasting liberty.

The last one I’ll share is also the most important words he gave me. He dedicated this song to me,

“Don’t Let No One Get You Down” by ‘War’…

“Don’t let no one, no one get you down ‘Cause if they do, If they do I’ll be around. I want you near Standing here by my side, So my dear wipe Those tears from your eyes. Don’t let no one No one get you down Cause  if they do, If they do I’ll be around. I want to see You round me all the time. I want you to know that I am yours And you are mine.”

In no way was this what I pictured saying goodbye to him would be like. It’s not easy, this is the most agonizing thing I’ve had to go through. But I must say I don’t believe it was God’s will to see him suffer, or for us to suffer. However, I do know that he lived his life in the best way possible, and he no longer has to say, “Another day closer to paradise.”  Today he is with his Him in Paradise. What we see with our naked eye is that we lost someone we loved dearly, but what we can’t see is the impact that he’s had on all of us and what his life truly meant to this world. To end, I’ll tell you what my father would have told you. “Tomorrow is not promised to anyone. We’ve all fallen short of the glory of God, no one is righteous, no not one, but you are all deeply loved. So live your life in recognition of that love”.